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It doesn't really matter how much you care if you're unaware.

Poor awareness, underdeveloped mind, they can't process feelings. They run from them. Shun them. Gaining awareness hurts. That's why I'm alone in the woods feeling every drop of pain. Yes I want to feel it. Process it. Use it.

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You’re putting me in a Thoreau state of mind. 🙂

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms...”