Every night I go to bed, silently screaming in my head: "Make it stop, make it go away". Life has progressively become excruciating.
All I want is peace. But that is wanting it all.
It's difficult to reconcile that it was never meant to be.. .that what I have got is what I deserve, because I do not have the strength to get what I want.

I wish you find what you're looking for!

Finding your person is the most rewarding thing in life. I speak from experience because I found mine and she too in me. It was EP of all places we found each other. She has passed but will forever be my person.
Abusive relationships are soul destroying and need to be undone.
Work issues can be addressed. There's always other options even when it doesn't seem so. It just takes an open mind and willingness sometimes to make a little less if need be.

I miss working.

You forgot the happiness option.

I just want to be happy.

Ooosaaaah.

WOW! This is inspirational…as I was reading your post, I could definitely relate. So proud of you for coming to the place of realizing change and putting happiness first. 💛

I would like a lot of things in life, fun adventures, a nice place, happy family, success at work, but what is most important for me is to be pleasing to God in all I do.

Well I had the same experience but from a man's point of view .
2 cars .
A great job .
A girlfriend .
Foreign holidays .
I thought my life would be like this forever .
All went .
I got nervous breakdown.
Ended up in a psyche wards .
Suicidal attempts.
Dark thoughts .
Do you know the moral of the story is .
It's all inside you as well .
The word FOREVER .
That's why you want to end your life .
When everything that you believe gets shattered
Your going through the shattering experience.
Now go to person that you can talk too , or else it will get worse .

So this is part 1. I now get the whirlpool you are in. Since you say you are an artist and wannabe writer, I can guide you into prosperity.

Are you still working and planning to quit?

I think you are doing EXACTLY the right thing.

You realized you have a problem; now you are open to change.

It's an exciting time! 😊😊😊

You need to ask yourself this one very important question. "Are you stuck or do you want to be here?" Give yourself an honest answer.

I guess I want to most of it. That's how we are right , nothing seems enough. But tbh I need a better job atm and better health.

You need to ask yourself.... what is your passion job and life ? What makes you happy ?
Then find that and DO IT !!!

@stardustgirl🤔peace and happiness good healt and family

Purpose

We need this in our lives

Are you an ER nurse?

https://similarworlds.com/experiences/life-lessons/1678668-This-is-your-life-Do-what-you-love-and-do-it-often