Is it normal that my teens and early 20's were not that enjoyable?
Something I've noticed a lot is that when most people talk about this time in their lives, it is with fond remembrance and nostalgia, and many of them talk as if these were the best years of their lives.
Unfortunately, this was not the case for me. I was a socially awkward, overweight and poorly dressed teen who was made fun of a lot, and never really felt like I fit in or belonged anywhere. I would get mocked a lot, have people pretend to befriend me only to laugh at me with others behind my back, and plenty of people, including grown adults, routinely told me I was not as good or capable as others. I was also on an assortment of SSRIs that greatly negatively affected my life for many years, and I just felt hopeless and like I had no control over my life. My life got thrown a huge curve ball that shook everything up even more at around 19/20, and this just completely confused me. I had no clue what I wanted and was trying to find my way in trying things that didn't make me happy at all, but seemed meant to please others around me instead. I did end up losing a significant amount of weight at around 20 and noticed an enormous difference in how I was treated, but all this really did was make me lose faith in humanity even more than I already had. It didn't improve my life any, it just made me realize how superficial people are and how it didn't matter what kind of person I was or how I treated others, just that I was conventionally attractive and skinny. I still didn't feel like I truly fit in or belonged, nor that I was cared about as a person.
Anyway, I pretty much felt lost, confused, down on myself, extremely self conscious and lacking in self confidence until I was close to 25. Things have improved quite a bit since then to my current age of 28, though life definitely has its ups and downs now, too.
I guess my question is (and I apologize for being so long-winded), is this normal? Did I miss out? So many people my age talk as if things will never be as good as they were then, that the future is all doom and gloom (especially since we're getting close to 30), "it's all downhill from here", etc. I sincerely hope that this is not the case and that things get better from here, and not worse! I know life will never be perfect, but I shudder at the idea of my teens and early 20's being the peak of my life when they were actually easily the worst part of it (and I sure hope nothing ever tops them in that regard)! I also hate how looks-centric and superficial society is and sincerely hope that is a young person thing that goes away with maturity and age (along with the competitive thing; it seems I can't even celebrate my own personal successes without someone trying to somehow dismiss or minimize it, or compare it to themselves).
Thanks for taking the time to read!
Unfortunately, this was not the case for me. I was a socially awkward, overweight and poorly dressed teen who was made fun of a lot, and never really felt like I fit in or belonged anywhere. I would get mocked a lot, have people pretend to befriend me only to laugh at me with others behind my back, and plenty of people, including grown adults, routinely told me I was not as good or capable as others. I was also on an assortment of SSRIs that greatly negatively affected my life for many years, and I just felt hopeless and like I had no control over my life. My life got thrown a huge curve ball that shook everything up even more at around 19/20, and this just completely confused me. I had no clue what I wanted and was trying to find my way in trying things that didn't make me happy at all, but seemed meant to please others around me instead. I did end up losing a significant amount of weight at around 20 and noticed an enormous difference in how I was treated, but all this really did was make me lose faith in humanity even more than I already had. It didn't improve my life any, it just made me realize how superficial people are and how it didn't matter what kind of person I was or how I treated others, just that I was conventionally attractive and skinny. I still didn't feel like I truly fit in or belonged, nor that I was cared about as a person.
Anyway, I pretty much felt lost, confused, down on myself, extremely self conscious and lacking in self confidence until I was close to 25. Things have improved quite a bit since then to my current age of 28, though life definitely has its ups and downs now, too.
I guess my question is (and I apologize for being so long-winded), is this normal? Did I miss out? So many people my age talk as if things will never be as good as they were then, that the future is all doom and gloom (especially since we're getting close to 30), "it's all downhill from here", etc. I sincerely hope that this is not the case and that things get better from here, and not worse! I know life will never be perfect, but I shudder at the idea of my teens and early 20's being the peak of my life when they were actually easily the worst part of it (and I sure hope nothing ever tops them in that regard)! I also hate how looks-centric and superficial society is and sincerely hope that is a young person thing that goes away with maturity and age (along with the competitive thing; it seems I can't even celebrate my own personal successes without someone trying to somehow dismiss or minimize it, or compare it to themselves).
Thanks for taking the time to read!
26-30, F
