Do women in "abusive relationships" have themselves to blame?

As a man that was married to a very manipulative verbally and, mentally abusive wife of a total of 11 years of marriage and divorced on the 11th year let me add this happens to good men and it ruins them too like it did me.

I married my ex-wife out of 100% love and lust of her. Once married she quit takin her Bi-polar medication and cheated in the first year. She told me she needed to decide if she wanted the marriage or not and decided to stay. We had a son and daughter together my glue that kept me in the marriage I put her through nursing college to get her RN BSN degree. On our 7th wedding anniversary, I quit trying because I could not break her mental and verbally abuse towards me, and a few times she threw objects across a room that hit me in the arm or face. I stayed hoping she would get back on her meds and plea with her to do so without any success, and maybe we could rekindle that love I "THOUGHT" we had. When she came to me on Thanksgiving evening after all friends and family went home from our house to tell me we needed a divorce so she could be with her soulmate a doctor she worked with at the hospital. I quit and said fine take him file he divorce I am done.

Post divorce the kids "BOTH" asked and did come to live with me because mom started doing to them that she had done to me mentally and verbally abuse wise. I will let this stand on its own merit.

As a 5'10" 240-pound male at the time that bench pressed 405 pounds in the Army as an unarmed self-defense expert I never once thought of harming her or being abessive in any way. She was 5'6'' 110 pounds and I loved and honored her like I was taught too by my parents. Now this entire experience couple with several post-divorce disaster dating relationships leaves me hating the term let alone the idea of marriage or a relationship.

Besides these wars and injuries and 12 major surgeries from them and being blown up and other things changed me into who I am today. Documented PTSD from childhood, marriage, and military of 27 years' service. This happens to men too.

And I stayed as long as I did out of love of the person I dated and hoping she would revert back to the lie of whom she was during our dating and our kids together.