What’s the point of living?

I just don’t see life as worth living. I will be 26 in a few days, and yes I see that everyone struggles and even feels the same exact way that I feel. But idk, I just feel like I can’t do it. I still live with my mom annd me annd her anre constantly clashing and some days I just feel very depressed and anxious. I would really love nothing more than to leave but Im just not sure if I can manage life on my own. Nowadays they want you to make 3x what they charge for rent, and im just so tired at this point in my life and I barely even have bills to pay. I don’t understand how people manage and survive all this. I just feel like im amongst the weak. I can’t do this life. I really don’t want to. Im weighing the choices of continuing living this life or just ending it early and finally being at peace. Death sounds so much better than continuing to live in this system. It’s just come to a point where I hate everything. I love my parents, but I hate them for bringing me here and barely knowing what to do with me. I low key hate God for having a part in this. Im not grateful for life no matter how much I try to remind myself that I have shelter. I hate myself. There feels like theres no point in my existence. I will literally kill myself if I have children and see any part of myself in them. I don’t see a family tree extending from me at all. I just hate all of this and don’t see a point. I try so hard to tell myself other people go through this, and even worse. But I’m just at a point where I dont want to be alive anymore, I just don’t want to do this. Does anyone have any advice?

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riseofthemachine · 41-45, M

Edashh I'm not being harsh on you now .
Do you know what your caught up in .
Self pity . When you get like that you find fault with everything .
I've been on the same both .
My only advice to you is try snap out of it cause you could end up in a pysche ward if it continues for so long . All it is is self pity .
Of course if your under the same roof with a person after so long they'd be clashes .
Then when your on your own . You'd find a fault then 😆😆😆.
Do you ever hear the sane the grass is greener on the other side ?
Well I tell you a story about me .
Me and my ex were always clashing towards the end of relationship. I mean insanity clashes .
She decided we leave the country. I said yes to please her cause at this stage I was trying to make it right , so was she .
We moved to Hong Kong.18 hour flight away from home . We were supposed to go to Australia for a year . We landed in Hong Kong. Lasted there 5 days . Never got to Australia. We had to come back cause I ended up getting a nervous breakdown over there . I lost $3500 over there .
A few weeks later the relationship ended . I wasn't right for a year and half . I ended up in a pysche ward first time for 3 day , second time for 6 weeks third time for a week , all in the space of a year .
The story I'm trying to tell you is count your lucky blessing where you are cause all of the suffering I was suffering from was grief and self pity mixed into one .
You have to be happy from the inside .
I was 29 . I'm 43 and still around .
See the biggest trick in the mind and what the mind would tell you is that everyone is having a great time except for me and if that goes deeper then suicide thoughts comes in ,
When there actually nothing happening.
I hope I came across to you 🙂.
There's no need to end lives

Edashh2399 · 26-30, F

@riseofthemachine I don’t find this harsh at all, this comment has genuinely given me a lot to think about and has been replaying in my head since I read it. My next question is, how do I get out of this vicious cycle of self pity and self loathing?

riseofthemachine · 41-45, M

@Edashh2399 the only way to get out of self pity and self loathing is prayer .
I'm not religious mad but after my experience that I had and I had a fairly rough one and you think my experience I had would make me resent God but I got closer to him than I ever did in my life through the toughest times of my life and it was prayer .
See if you try to fix yourself you ended up getting frustrated but when resentments come in which they will , don't answer the thought .
You'll know there resentments cause the name of the voice will be running through your head .
That's what starts the self loathing and I'm sorry I said self pity I was wrong there cause if you went through a lot that could be depression .
Self pity and depression are very similar emotions. Like resentments and self loathing are very similar .
All I can say is pray if you believe in prayer .
It worked for up to now , and that doesn't mean your free from pain . It means you can handle it a bit better . It brings you solitude.
You won't get this in one day .
It took me 22 years to get this where I am .
I'm sober and clean 19 years and between me and U I didn't have to do much work to get sober .
All I had to do was bring the shuffle to dig up stuff that was blocking me from God or if you don't believe in God (a higher power)
See when you have a head full of crap how are you expected to see .
That's mainly where the self loathing comes in cause you feel trapped in spirit .
You can do it