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Is there really such a thing as tough love

either between friends or parents or partners
or is it just an excuse for non-love and abuse
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There is, but as others have said, it’s usually abused. One small example of actual "tough love" I remember was because I often overslept.
Mom would wake me up, but then I’d fall back asleep. I got a ride from her to my Jr. high school, over three miles away, on her way to work. One morning she told me that if I wasn’t ready when she was, I would have to walk to school.
That was only necessary once, going forward.