Hard to single out one precise time. First 6 years of life I was essentially an only child on a cattle ranch in the middle of no where and my parents had a full plate of chores to do everyday. There were the four years I was bedridden as a child and my interaction with anyone else was pretty much limited to my parents. Then there was transferring high schools after the start of high school and not knowing a single other person in a particularly cliquish class of the offspring of the new town's elite who had been together since kindergarten.

But if you were to ask the loneliest moment in my life, it was that first day arriving at my German posting, having no bed to call my own, no locker or footlocker at all, issued my first winter combat garb, knowing no one, hearing the news bulletin that JFK had been shot, being led to the armory and issued a weapon I had not trained on, getting reports our tanks had just turned towards Moscow and were awaiting orders, and sitting there with a bunch of strangers in full combat gear and wondering if I was going to survive the next 24 hours.

When I was married 😌

The past four years

Living it now 😔

Most vulnerable and lonely I ever felt

Between my last year in college and starting my career. I was essentially between friends.

Gordon Lightfoot's "Early Mornin' Rain" describes it almost exactly. It was after 1am. Sick wife with kids had just lifted off for home 3000 miles away and the small airport was shutting down. I walked about 5 miles back into the unfamiliar town, in the cold early morning rain; then sat in an all-night café to wait for daylight.

2021
Eventho I was surrounded by people who cared about me, I still felt lonely with my own grief when it came to post partum and miscarriage. Like I thought depression was lonely, but I REALLY felt lonely dealing with these compared to your average depression that a good majority of people experience.

2011 I think. I had just gotten sick in 2010 so I was already disabled and then I broke my hip which was broken for seven months. I was on Fentanyl, Percocet, and Flexeril all at the same time and just kind of floating through existence. Hard to connect with much of anything at that point.

Pre-teen and early teen. 11-15, I wanted things that are not normal for kids that age to experience. So I developed a strong habit of daydreaming and learned to not be that lonely thanks to my fantasies.

Right now

Now

When I was 18/19 years old. Many moons ago working 2 jobs, living on my own in my own little apartment studying part time, yeah them were lonely times but I had a gold fish to keep me company lol ✨😌🤌🏻

Growing up out in the woods in northern minnesota. I remember raking hay with an eagle flying circles over me and wishing i could get out of there.

You know when you take a shit and wipe but your finger goes through the paper, that’s the loneliest time for me, like don’t you wish it was someone else’s finger ?

My early to mid twenties. Some of the absolute bottom of the barrel moments I’ve ever had were from that time

When I was living in Buffalo NY by myself in a woman’s shelter and doing prostitution

When I was 17-18 and pregnant

In my former abuse relationship.

Now to be honest

Now

Always.

The year I had my daughter.

Probably 2005-2006