I don't mean someone who cut you off in traffic or forgot your birthday. I mean someone who can peg the DSM meter(Criteria below) You need not satisfy every one. They're the worst.
Got it? Anyone you know with this disorder?
For me, it's my girlfriend's mother. I won't bore you with everything; suffice it to say that nothing you do is ever good enough(or even the "right" thing). I've been criticized harshly for: --Bringing her brownies from the bakery --Visiting sick family members in the hospital --Attending the wake and funeral of my girlfriend's father(her husband; I actually got a "review")
Years ago, I was informed that she kept in regular touch with my girlfriend's ex-boyfriend. Then she wonders why I want nothing to do with her.
Today, I found out that she talks to his family too.
The ex died two years ago.
This is what I'm talking about.
Anyone else dealing with these loathsome individuals?
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How do I condense so many years into something cohesive ?
In the beginning ....it was wonderful . I always said I respected him more than I loved him .
He seemed too good to be true . Almost like he doted on me. Very generous . Always organizing things for me so I didn't have to . Then it became easier if I didn't ....he allocated responsibilities - seemed logical . Me - family and kids Him - finances and bills .
We had dreams ... not big ones...just simple ones - a lovely little palace to live ....happy family -happy life .
I don't where along the way the balance tipped, but about 10 years in I noticed all the plans we had weren't really happening. There was no money to do them.
But he had hobbies .Quite expensive hobbies , and they kept changing .
Then it was the small things ...no money so I could go get my hair cut, or go to the pool just to burn some pent up stress from having a disabled child. While his hobbies became more important and expensive and time consuming.
Finally ....I had time with kids in school , to work . All good . It's like he came alive again ...was home more . I could spend money on the house , the kids , him .... Then I got sick . Couldn't work . He asked for money ....I wouldn't give him any as it was spoken for to complete house improvements .
Suddenly he was never home . Suddenly he was mean. Suddentlt he was cruel . Suddenly he seemed to become secretive ....and lying . Obvious lies he couldn't cover
I asked, I debated, I negotiated , I pleaded , I argued ....it just got worse.
He became violent .
I was poor, moneyless, sick and getting sicker - my immune system caved in, exhausted and lonely. But still had to look after my kids with an almost absent father.
Hed come home ....the kids would retreat to their rooms . They were scared . I was scared and confused .
I snapped ...spoke up, said I d had enough and for him to get his shit together as a father, as a partner and as a man .
I really shouldn't have .
The psychological torture began.
He treated me as if I didn't exist . Even if he was.home ....he was never in the house. He was never in his heart . Things went missing , stuff got moved, broken, misplaced , lost, thrown out .
Usually it was mine .
The lies got worse , I had to beg for money for medication . I spent my savings trying to keep the food on the table and my self getting better .
Then I discovered the deeper lies . The loss off hundreds of thousands of dollars, the women, the debt .....it has been going on for years .
He didn't care....until I found out and confronted him .
Then it got worse-er ....I won't say how . But let's just say I don't like to be touched anymore. I couldn't believe how cruel someone could be untill then. And when I thought he couldnt get any worse ...I was shown he could .
It's crazy . You love someone . They CAN be such an amazing person ....but for some reason only everyone ELSE gets that amazing person. ...YOU get the demon . YOU get the nasty, sadistic, bully who likes to watch you suffer.
And it's so confusing . You look at them and don't recognize who they are , but they are wearing your best friends skin .
