Scared for the future

I just graduated college, but I have two classes left before I can get my degree mailed to me. Dad is out of the picture, one brother is in the mental hospital, the other brother is about to move out in July, and I’m here alone stuck with my mother. I want to move out but every time I get paid I’m impulsive and want to spend it on things that I didn’t have before or couldn’t buy before. I have loans but I don’t know how much. This is a newfound level of responsibility that I have not been prepared for. I don’t know what to do next. All I can do is work and save to eventually move in with my best friend or just stay there, and keep working, finish the two classes in the fall, and then apply for grad schools for music therapy, which I might not be able to get into because of how my GPA is and how I’m not going to be able to get any letters of recommendation. Feels like my dreams are crumbling in my hand and I’ve let it happen by my own lack of responsibility and ambition. If you have any advice about how to make money to move out, how to save better, how to keep track of loans, or anything else, it would be much appreciated.