I don't even know....

....how to express myself. I'm not mad, I don't feel more stressed than normal. I'm just.... sad. I woke up feeling sad and just.... I don't know, defeated I guess? I'm not even sure what's going on. This isn't like my normal posts where I hate myself so much that I'd just like to die. Oddly enough, I feel a small sense of calmness. That being said, it's also overshadowed by depression and sadness. I just miss being happy. I miss having friends and people to talk to. I miss not having to force a smile. I miss being able to be myself.