I have an older cousin who was killed by his father

This cousin was my dad's age so I didn't grow up with him. I grew up with his kids. He had 3 sons & a daughter, all around my age. The boys got bullied in school so every time I came to town, they came to me & I fought their bullies for them. I always made sure everyone knew not to mess with my family. Even when it was kids much older & I had to pull knives on them.

I remember one night in middle school, they told me some older kid was picking on them. I stayed the night at their house that night to help them get revenge. We drank a bunch of their dad's beer then we went out that night & egged the bully's house then broke all the windows.

Obviously it woke that whole family up so they came out & we hid while they called the cops. We stayed in trees across the street until the heat died down then we crawled out & went back home.

When I got back home the next few days, I got the news that my cousins' father had been killed. He got in an argument with his own father, so his father stormed outside, grabbed a shotgun, came inside & blasted him in his own home... with all my cousins present. They had to watch their own father bleed out in their home.. killed by their own grandpa.

I can't imagine that feeling... my dad abused us & I never had a grandpa. Idk how I would've felt in that situation. But that shit hit me so deeply because I loved my cousins. I saw how much that broke them & I saw how hard it was for them to hold it all together after all that. Their mom was gone in drugs... Just like mine. So they had nobody else. They moved in with their grandma until they grew up.

We're all adults now. Most of them have kids & it makes me happy to see them smile & carry on because I saw them all at their hardest. It makes me happy to see them brag about their families, show off their hobbies, talk about their father with pride & hold up his picture in family photos. They turned out amazing despite that tragedy.

Idk.. I'm still drinking rn & kinda lost in memories but I'm kinda happy that throughout all the fucked up shit this life has to offer, we still live on. Even when it all falls apart... Life still continues. It's pretty messed up but beautiful that we get this chance to be here & feel things: Love people, feel regret, apologize, & heal.
It's sad how many people don't take that opportunity