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Still need to find myself

“Who Am I?”

I’ve been to bars.
I’ve been to high end places.
I’ve been out doors
With spiritual people.
And I’ve been in church
With religious people.

I’ve smoked pot
And I’ve drank nothing
But water before.
I’ve driven fast
And I’ve fallen asleep
To someone’s safe driving.

I’ve not let people touch me
And I’ve sat in strip clubs.
I’ve let people make out with me
And I’ve sat in therapy.

I’ve lied, cheated, and stole
Almost went to prison.
I’ve spoken the truth, stayed loyal,
And given more than I’ve taken…

And yet no matter how
High or low I’ve gone.
How good or evil I’ve been.

I still can’t find a place I belong.

ZulXeroth · 31-35, M
Easier to lose oneself in others than it is to find them.
ZulXeroth · 31-35, M
@londonbr1dg3 sounds like the room you need to be in is maybe the room full of people that tell you it’s okay to be you?
londonbr1dg3 · 22-25, F
@ZulXeroth yes. If I ever find out “who” that is…
ZulXeroth · 31-35, M
@londonbr1dg3 all it takes is a moment to redefine how you see yourself. I hope you find yours sooner rather than later.
Dainbramadge · 51-55, M
"The wind sits in the shoulder of your sail,
And you are stay'd for. There; my blessing with thee!
And these few precepts in thy memory
See thou character. Give thy thoughts no tongue,
Nor any unproportioned thought his act.
Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar.
Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatch'd, unfledged comrade. Beware
Of entrance to a quarrel, but being in,
Bear't that the opposed may beware of thee.
Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice;
Take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgment.
Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy;
For the apparel oft proclaims the man,
And they in France of the best rank and station
Are of a most select and generous chief in that.
Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine ownself be true,"
eyeno · M
[b]the Big Picture[/b]
What you've done as you've described seems normal. (As if you were describing my life and millions of others.)

[b]Briefly...your searching for a sense of purpose.[/b]
Know that family, friends, strangers, work, play, and any direct interaction you have has an impact on everyone and everything.

[b]You were meant to be there, make it count [/b]
My Dad out of the blue one day looked at me and said sternly and purposefully, "[b]In life you have to believe in something, anything ![/b]".
At the time I was a troublesome teen and had no direction or purpose. So I sat there quietly and took that statement to heart not knowing what he was talking about.

Just coming from personal experience, most of us don't know who we really are until our 40's. There have been times were I thought I'd found myself, only to realize I was still lost. Self love usually kicks in around that age too, and things start coming together. Keep self reflecting and try not to get discouraged. Be gentle with yourself....
You're still growing just yet 😉🌷
Bornrebel · 36-40, M
Acceptance is the key. If you can be yourself, your true self you will be able to find what you want and look for it.
TheRascallyOne · 31-35, M
Did you look behind that Bush "points over there"
londonbr1dg3 · 22-25, F
Bang5luts · M
Hi! I see you!
hippyjoe1955 · 61-69, M
IOW you have never been to you. Are you stuck or do you want to be there?
hippyjoe1955 · 61-69, M
@londonbr1dg3 Makes perfect sense. The feeling is common when people look for themselves outside of themselves.
londonbr1dg3 · 22-25, F
@hippyjoe1955 think a part of it is growing up I did have a lot of things that my parents helped me with or “gave” me but the things I wanted to do (drama class, quit martial arts so I could focus more on my writing and stuff and a few other things that I was excited to do or try) they would say no to and make me do what they thought was best. Which is fine cause I understand now, but I never got to explore the things I felt was right for me…so now I’m just kinda roaming around with this “new” freedom trying to make new friends and just never feeling whole because of it
hippyjoe1955 · 61-69, M
@londonbr1dg3 Here is an old song that might reflect what you are saying.
Emjay · 18-21, F
Kevin Larsson? I've never heard of him.
londonbr1dg3 · 22-25, F
@Emjay if you’re referring to the “K. L” at the end. It’s just my initials
You belong here 👉🏻 🌎 🤗

Keep going 💓
Go to your room and close the door from inside.. thats where you belong. 😒
londonbr1dg3 · 22-25, F
@Donotfolowme you’re right. But you came at me first. With the whole “lock yourself in your room”
@londonbr1dg3 hahaha lock yourself? Sounds horrible but that's what most do when they are lost n can't connect.. I thought I was helping 😒
londonbr1dg3 · 22-25, F
@Donotfolowme considering you don’t know my personal life (just what’s written) I didn’t see it as you helping. Especially you ending it with “that’s where you belong” no one “belongs” in side alone in their room. Being isolated is probably the WORST thing one can do when done excessively. I mean ive done it before when I was younger. Almost killed myself because of it.

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