A couple years ago my dad told me he sees me someday living in a big mansion with a bunch of cars

I got mad at him for that. I started yelling at him shit like, "Why tf would you expect that of me? Why would you even put that on me? Don't put your fucking dreams on me I don't want any of that shit all I fucking want is to be happy! Nothing means shit if I can't be fucking happy"
I wouldn't listen to anything else he said, I just left & we never talked about that again.

When I think back on that I feel really bad for that night. My dad was only trying to tell me he believes in me. That he believes I'm worth all of that, or that I deserve it. He never said that stuff to me growing up so I feel bad that the one time he tried to, I reacted with anger.

I think I got mad because I didn't believe in myself. I didn't want those expectations put on me & I still couldn't even figure out a reason to live at that point in my life. I didn't care about material shit & all I wanted was to be happy. It felt too overwhelming to think about figuring my life out.

I hope he still sees that stuff in me. I still don't want a big house... but I do want a bunch of cars.
Someday

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cherryxblossom

You need to share these thoughts with him. Asap. You never know how much time you have left with your parents, and if you never got a chance to open up to him about this you would regret it forever. If you only open up while drinking, sounds like you need to plan a drinking night with him. We all have moments our own insecurities make us react poorly….but we don’t always get the chance to clear those moments up.

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@cherryxblossom it's just difficult to talk with him when it comes to difficult topics. He doesn't open up very easily. He was abusive when we were kids & he's regretful for it now but it's still tough to talk about deeper subjects with him. There's a lot to unpack. We talk all the time now & joke all the time, but it's rare we have a real heart to heart conversation.

Starcrossed · 46-50, F

I hope you get the just right moment someday where you can bring this up. 🙏 🤞

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@Starcrossed hopefully I do. Thanks 🤗

cherokeepatti · 70-79, F

You’ll never get any further than what you envision for yourself.

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@cherokeepatti true shit

SW-User

Maybe you should tell him that? Or atleast show him this post? I'm sure he still feels bad for making you feel bad

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SW-User

@ChiefJustWalks ah, that sucks. But telling him about that one incident is a good start to fixing that.

Easier said than done, I know. But there's still hope.

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@SW-User I do always try to apologize when I know I'm wrong so I'll try to find a way to bring it up again 🙏

SW-User

@ChiefJustWalks whatever happens, I hope it turns out well for the both of you. Best of luck.

ineedadrink · 56-60, M

He probably would be beyond delighted if you said all this to him in person.

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@ineedadrink someday I might. It's not often we have deep conversations like that. It only happens at random times when we're drinking together

LordShadowfire · 46-50, M

My dad taught me something similar. You don't want to invest in a fancy car if you don't have a good place to live.

Not necessarily a mansion. Just a nice house.

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@LordShadowfire yeah, I don't want a mansion at all. I just want a decent home in a clean neighborhood. I don't expect much at all

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