of course I'm a lousy lover, I never get the practice

once I went down on a girl
(this is true it's not a joke)
well I was trying, she said:
do you mind if I smoke?

and that killed my confidence
and bruised my little ego
now it all makes sense
but it didn't, years ago

I wasn't expecting lightning
I'm not a lover or a fighter
but then it got even less exciting
when she asked me to find a lighter