To believe or not to believe, that's the question.

When you're so pathologically conditioned and scarred by the past that any form of kindness or compassion triggers alarms and makes you see red flags. Pavlovian responses can protect and sabotage a person with equal aplomb.

I was trained to hate and I survived on a glimpse of love and a dream of freedom. I know I am not normal.

I have had to try and master my fight mode many times, and teach my brain to distinguish between rare genuine care and the so common facades instilled in how many seem to function and fit in, and to navigate how both interwine and extend in my thinking and behaviors.

Trying is something I do everyday. It is what is best for everyone.