I am in this ultimately awkward position

@ABCDEF7 I am a dog that bites at the moment, I don't know how to do that

I don't help at all with the situation. But I don't care to help you know? They were the only ppl in my life. She weren't supposed to be there for my birthday and I don't know why I said yes... she's 25 and it felt I had the birthday of a 25 year old, following what she wants to do at my birthday. I act like a child and I see 🙈 i see it. But it hurt me. My boyfriend was like he parked me with his sister. at first we sit at this cafe and he left our table and went to a nearby boat and got in, he knew someone there... He came for like 5' so I could blow a candle they brought me, got back again. We walked to a beach. All of the time he spent it snorkeling. We were seated at a restaurant by the beach. He came back just when it was time to eat.
I understand it's about time that I am leaving and both our psychologies are strange but you know I really feel strange on my birthdays and I would have preferred to be alone. He can't understand what's happening. His sister then is this mainstream person. I compared myself constantly. I felt as if she was celebrating and I wasn't, as if it was her day. She did it right, I couldn't manage to pick up myself.
It's as if it was a chance to feel lonely, more lonely and as if none cared.
Maybe I don't care for anyone so I am getting this back ? Maybe it's this ? I should have organised my birthday but I didn't. I guess I was afraid none of my other friends would come so I invited anyone. I should have known better, I am sorry I let myself to experience that.
I mean I make a great deal out of nothing.
They even got me a book present. Not even a word to accompany it, a mainstream book it looks like none spent any time to pick and just so to fulfill the obligation. I really felt unwanted and uncelebrated.

@being You are what you are, and will be. But the world we live in works as a society. And sometimes we have to adjust ourselves as per the people we live with. It will definitely seem uncomfortable to you. But you have to take it as a challenge. No, it will not change who you are. Just getting dynamic as per the scenario is challenging, but we can just give it a try. We may not do well, giving it a try would be ok.

The behavior that you have observed afterwards maybe because of your previous lack of involvement. When we try to make/maintain a relationship, we need to ignore many things, few things we have to assume in positive way, and also need to initiate many things from our side. Like when he left you both at the beach restaurant, maybe he did it intentionally to give you both time and space so that you develops a relation as you both have to live in the same house for some time. For the gift you can think it of like she was not aware of your taste and just wanted to be sure that you likes it.

I can understand trying to change how you interact with others is very very challenging. But we can just put our effort what we can do, so that we would not feel bad that we even didn't tried. You can share with her that you are introvert, ask sorry for your inability to interact properly, and at the same time try to start conversation.

All the best !!

@ABCDEF7 thank you, time helped with the perspective... and your text I completely get it now. I am more at ease and knowing myself even better.. But I had an intense crisis. Totally unexpected 🤪

@being Take care..