I am in this ultimately awkward position

I am staying in my boyfriend's home with his sister.
In about 10 days I am moving to another country.
In a few days I will be moving to an annex for few days.
My home is rented on Airbnb.
I made this awful scene, a depressive episode in front of him and his sister.
And for a couple of days I will need to be around.
I am being most of the day outside the house as I am avoiding them.
It's awkward and I don't feel so welcome at the moment.
I just arrived, I was staying on a bench for hours and they're not even home. I remember they were saying they'd go to a play or a concert. I know I shouldn't dwell in this thinking but there's this yelling voice saying "they're having fun finally without the sickening me"
I need to rest, it's challenging.

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Menetics · 26-30, F

I know what you feel. If I were you, I would get all the courage I need to apologize and explain why I acted the way I did. Once everything is out in the open, it gets easier and maybe they would understand you more.

being · 36-40, F

@Menetics I don't believe they will really. If one haven't experienced depression they're not getting it. And it's best for them to not get it.. I admire what you say but I don't want to do that, I don't feel that I have the whole blame so to apologize... and they'll never get their wrong point. I can't do it, maybe it's just that. But how she has talked in the past about people with mental illness and depressives. I could talk to my boyfriend but instead of worrying about how i am in this shitty place, he's worrying more for his sister. And I am getting it.

Menetics · 26-30, F

@being I’m sorry I didn't know the whole context of the story. I take it back, don't apologise. It’s also worth considering explaining how you feel to them, it’s their fault if they wouldn’t acknowledge what you feel but at least you tried. If your partner is not willing to understand you, I think it’s best to find someone new because down the road, he’ll use your depression as ammunition against you.

being · 36-40, F

@Menetics the whole situation is complex, but no worries, no need to take back anything. It helps me to put things in perspective, answering whether should I apologize or not. His sister is in this mood "you ruined our day" so just this mood makes me not feeling like apologizing. Uh anyways ... truly what triggered me was yesterday it was my birthday and I felt as a burden instead of feeling celebrated.
I wish I wouldn't decide to spend my time with someone who doesn't really value my presence...

Menetics · 26-30, F

@being Belated Happy Birthday! I’m you had to go through this on your birthday. I hope everything will be sorted out soon before you leave. I wish you all the best.

being · 36-40, F

@Menetics thank you...🤗💟