I am in this ultimately awkward position

I am staying in my boyfriend's home with his sister.
In about 10 days I am moving to another country.
In a few days I will be moving to an annex for few days.
My home is rented on Airbnb.
I made this awful scene, a depressive episode in front of him and his sister.
And for a couple of days I will need to be around.
I am being most of the day outside the house as I am avoiding them.
It's awkward and I don't feel so welcome at the moment.
I just arrived, I was staying on a bench for hours and they're not even home. I remember they were saying they'd go to a play or a concert. I know I shouldn't dwell in this thinking but there's this yelling voice saying "they're having fun finally without the sickening me"
I need to rest, it's challenging.

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turningthekeys · 31-35, F

I don't know what to say...... I've been in that position too.... Just know it will pass. You will heal. You will be in a better place... For now try to focus on your surroundings instead of what's in your head. With a lot of ups and downs I've realized that our brains lie to us A LOT. LIKE A WHOLE LOTTTT. Especially when we're at our lowest. So fck that bich and look at the beautiful skyline and listen to the birds and watch the greens and feel the breeze.
Maybe bring your bf and his sister some cookies or fix them a meal, to start fresh and break the ice.

being · 36-40, F

@turningthekeys will try to focus outwards. I would love to be in the position to do that, break the ice, but it feels so pretentious at the moment.. it's an ego thing. He knows I am in this shitty place but he's unable to help. And I don't want to. But reading it, i realized that'd be nice

turningthekeys · 31-35, F

@being Pretentious maybe but also diplomatic...it helps appease the anxiety around the situation and says "sorry" without actually saying sorry and builds a positive impression in their heads to counter any previous negative thoughts. It's just being proactive, not a bad thing really.