Are you getting all you deserve in life?
When I am dealing with this kind feeling, I feel so sad and sorry for myself.
Two years ago, I realized that all this time of my life, I am just the second option ever since. I am just a replacement if their first choice is unavailable or incapable, either at work, as a friend, in my family and even as a lover, almost in most things and aspects in my life.
When I looked back to situations that happened to me, to opportunities that has been given, and to chances that I have taken. All of those things, I am just the second option.
And do you know what sucks the most, I gave my all.
My best efforts, my best shot, all my best even they did not ask for it. I can be the most caring and helpful friend, I can be the most understanding and thoughtful lover, I can be the most supporting colleague, I can give those kind of things in a best way that I can, even though this people in my life did not expect that from me. I even made sacrifices, I am not selfish, I am very patient and understanding.
Am I not worthy of love, am I not worthy of good things even though I have given all my best, I did all my best, is still not enough? I guess I am not worthy and enough. They say "you get what you deserve", I do not deserve to be treated like this, what an unfair and cruel path for me I guess.
I apologize if I might trigger anyone by this post. 馃槥
Two years ago, I realized that all this time of my life, I am just the second option ever since. I am just a replacement if their first choice is unavailable or incapable, either at work, as a friend, in my family and even as a lover, almost in most things and aspects in my life.
When I looked back to situations that happened to me, to opportunities that has been given, and to chances that I have taken. All of those things, I am just the second option.
And do you know what sucks the most, I gave my all.
My best efforts, my best shot, all my best even they did not ask for it. I can be the most caring and helpful friend, I can be the most understanding and thoughtful lover, I can be the most supporting colleague, I can give those kind of things in a best way that I can, even though this people in my life did not expect that from me. I even made sacrifices, I am not selfish, I am very patient and understanding.
Am I not worthy of love, am I not worthy of good things even though I have given all my best, I did all my best, is still not enough? I guess I am not worthy and enough. They say "you get what you deserve", I do not deserve to be treated like this, what an unfair and cruel path for me I guess.
I apologize if I might trigger anyone by this post. 馃槥
