I hate how people have this view that either everything that happens in your life is your fault or none of it is

It's a little bit of both.

People that say you're completely in control of your life and how you're effected by others actions in reality are narcissists that don't want to take personal responsibility for anything.

People that act like they have no control of their own lives and how they conduct themselves are crybabies that want handouts.

I just wanted to say that idk