Things are so wack buttttttt
It's not so bad. So no, I have not left bf yet. It's so hard to just up and leave so many years of my life. I'm not a social person, I don't have a lot of friends, he is my best friend. I love him as a person, but I just think we'd be best as friends and I know he agrees but neither of us have the balls to do it. He's at a festival this weekend and I told him he can go as wild as he wants as long as he texts me when he gets home and I hope he meets someone.
As for meeee, I have been falling so hard for a coworker. He is so sweet and so nice, everything about him makes me giddy, I feel like a child it's ridiculous 😭 I told another coworker (and friend) about this and a few weeks later (today) she suggested that we all go out for drinks, and we all excitedly decided we are free on Sunday. Now I know, I know what she's doing, and I would love for something to happen between him and I but I know it's not the right time. Even if bf was okay with me being with another man (which he's not 🙄 like how can u be okay with me sleeping with and dating girls but not boys but okk) I want to just be me and be free when I finally feel ready to be, I don't want to bounce to a new relationship bc I really don't think it will do me any good, but I would like to bounce on him a lil 😆
On a different note I've been thinking about my ex a lot lately. This girl popped up on tiktok and she makes songs about loving other girls and sooo many of them relate to how I feel about ex. I had to physically make myself close tiktok BC it was making me so sad. Theres so many things I would do to be able to just hold her again. I miss everything about her. But again, I know that no matter what I just need to do me. I need to give myself independence and keep on with my plan. I will not let myself down.
As for meeee, I have been falling so hard for a coworker. He is so sweet and so nice, everything about him makes me giddy, I feel like a child it's ridiculous 😭 I told another coworker (and friend) about this and a few weeks later (today) she suggested that we all go out for drinks, and we all excitedly decided we are free on Sunday. Now I know, I know what she's doing, and I would love for something to happen between him and I but I know it's not the right time. Even if bf was okay with me being with another man (which he's not 🙄 like how can u be okay with me sleeping with and dating girls but not boys but okk) I want to just be me and be free when I finally feel ready to be, I don't want to bounce to a new relationship bc I really don't think it will do me any good, but I would like to bounce on him a lil 😆
On a different note I've been thinking about my ex a lot lately. This girl popped up on tiktok and she makes songs about loving other girls and sooo many of them relate to how I feel about ex. I had to physically make myself close tiktok BC it was making me so sad. Theres so many things I would do to be able to just hold her again. I miss everything about her. But again, I know that no matter what I just need to do me. I need to give myself independence and keep on with my plan. I will not let myself down.
