To be real, I think I am just unloveable and that’s okay. Like it really is.

I repel everyone eventually. I’m very rebellious and outspoken, yet quiet when people want to talk about mundane life things. I need fire and passion, deep intelligent conversations, and everyone just goes to work and complains about how boring it is to be normal. But when I’m silly and spunky, my energy hits their wall of disassociation and never budges them. So I concede that I am happy on my own. I find a bit of excitement when I need it and live an unordinary life full of adventure. That will have to fill up my soul. I don’t know what to do with my sweet heart, but to tuck it away safely. Maybe next life I will know what it feels like to be cherished

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Bang5luts · M

I do not believe that to be true. You are lovable, we all are on many different levels. Truly. And we (most of us) have worked our asses off carrying others on our backs, and deserve the best this life has to offer us!

RebelFox · 36-40, F

@Bang5luts I know my son and my dog love me. Most animals do. But with humans there’s zero connection anymore. I’m bored and nobody wants to be with someone who is bored of them. My life is strange and beautiful in ways people don’t understand and they won’t try. No one will try. They want me to conform or they want me to be magical 24/7. Nobody wants the real me. I’ve been through it a 100x now. The deep inner me doesn’t belong anywhere except with my son. And really hun, I swear, I’m great with it. It’s easy to find a hookup and then they’re gone, I don’t even have to get bored or feel bad that they don’t actually care about me. It’s pathetic maybe, but that’s my life and I have to accept it.

Bang5luts · M

@RebelFox it is pathetic not you not your situation but the fact that you accept this world. Really, there are men out here who would accept you for who you are and ask nothing but faithfulness and love in return. Hundreds of thousands if not millions of us. Whom aren't abusive, and not demanding, or misogynistic. Some times this down time we have between relationships are perfect opportunities to build that strong inner love within ourselves, that strength of core, that surety of one's self. Love deep love is grand. I know you know this. It truly is the greatest feeling in the world

RebelFox · 36-40, F

@Bang5luts Thank you sweetheart. That’s where I am now. I just enjoy learning who I am because I do like myself. I have been so good to people. That they aren’t good back is okay because I’m just happy that I was myself and I always do my best. So yeah, it’s definitely not a negative time

it’s beautiful honestly and my son is happier when he doesn’t have to share his mama time anyway

Bang5luts · M

@RebelFox I want to give up as well, but I have felt that deep love, that deep connection with someone. It has made me who I am today. Someone who cares for others and sees my own existence as being one of connection with others around me.

Bang5luts · M

@RebelFox