Past four days went like blur .
I spiralled . I lost control. I was finally getting back my life and then I started again wasting my time and escaping the reality by procrastinating, day dreaming and zoning out .
This is bad . This is truly bad. I was at my bottom most point and felt so suicidal. Then a ray of hope came in my life and provided me with answers , with paths to get out of this mess of my life. It gave resources to my broke bankrupt and debt burdened ass . And instead of utilising it , I am wasting it again.
I have to get back.I have to get back on track . I used to wake up at 6 am , do yoga , clean room, talk to my parents and get my work done , answer messages and worry about the good things. My shoulder was getting better.
For past 4 days I am binge watching and like losing myself to god know what . I haven't Showered , talked to my parents or got any work done. And my shoulder has started to hurt again due to lack of yoga . This has to stop .
Its 3 am . I am gonna sleep till 9 . Wake up and go with this plan .
1) brush + wash my face
2)clean my room
3) do yoga
4)eat
5)bath
6) answer all the messages
7)Plan my days .for next week . My remaining holidays. Please do this , please. If I don't start to study within next seven days, this will be seriously deadly for me , for my career , for my mental health, for my life. A mind shattering breakdown will come wrecking.
8) talk to my parents . Anything . Just maintain conversation.
9) Journal it down. Get back to yourself. Get back to reality. Don't lose myself. Seriously . Please don't dissociate . My life is already very torn apart .duct taping is not the solution but I am starting with them . But these dissociations , procrastinating, binge eating, wasting time, being lazy is tearing my whole life apart . Ripping it off .
This is bad . This is truly bad. I was at my bottom most point and felt so suicidal. Then a ray of hope came in my life and provided me with answers , with paths to get out of this mess of my life. It gave resources to my broke bankrupt and debt burdened ass . And instead of utilising it , I am wasting it again.
I have to get back.I have to get back on track . I used to wake up at 6 am , do yoga , clean room, talk to my parents and get my work done , answer messages and worry about the good things. My shoulder was getting better.
For past 4 days I am binge watching and like losing myself to god know what . I haven't Showered , talked to my parents or got any work done. And my shoulder has started to hurt again due to lack of yoga . This has to stop .
Its 3 am . I am gonna sleep till 9 . Wake up and go with this plan .
1) brush + wash my face
2)clean my room
3) do yoga
4)eat
5)bath
6) answer all the messages
7)Plan my days .for next week . My remaining holidays. Please do this , please. If I don't start to study within next seven days, this will be seriously deadly for me , for my career , for my mental health, for my life. A mind shattering breakdown will come wrecking.
8) talk to my parents . Anything . Just maintain conversation.
9) Journal it down. Get back to yourself. Get back to reality. Don't lose myself. Seriously . Please don't dissociate . My life is already very torn apart .duct taping is not the solution but I am starting with them . But these dissociations , procrastinating, binge eating, wasting time, being lazy is tearing my whole life apart . Ripping it off .
22-25, F
