Back in this headspace again. I hate it.

It’s time to stop looking. Stop trying. I’m so tired. I’ve busted my ass to make life awesome and nobody cares. I have as much fun as I can and I enjoy the experiences, but I’m exhausted. I want to believe, but I’m just a fkn weirdo nobody wants to love. People will use me but they don’t give. They don’t care how I feel. I’m just bored, going through the years, getting shit on by others. I’m thankful for my son and my dog. My creative outlets and my camper van. I’m so grateful for my life. I wish I could share it with someone, it’s pretty rad, but nobody wants us 🤷🏼‍♀️ It’s really just time to retreat and cope with it.

PS, please don’t tell me to love myself, I do, I understand how self worth works, I have self esteem. I’m kinda cute and a lot of fun. People just seem to rather squash me than lift me up.

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

Dainbramadge · 56-60, M

So you say you're cute and fun to be around?
What's your sign?
Are your pants a mirror because I can see myself in them. LOL
I was actually going to try to think of as many creepy things as I could to put in this comment but I stalled out early. LOL

I'm pretty sure you already know this but maybe I can put it into a different perspective for you that will help you let you wrap your head around it in a better frame of mind.
For the most part people suck. People suck really bad. I don't know if it's their fault or if it's this constant conflicting influx of what it means to find happiness. That didn't come out right.
Did I mention people suck? :-)
My anger management counselor put it as clear for me as I think anyone could possibly describe it.
Don't be afraid to be selfish. There's a big difference between looking out for yourself and being a narcissist. Don't worry about being a narcissist. It will never happen.
Try to be selfish. Try thinking of only you your son and your dog. Don't try to be something for someone else. You deserve good things in your life. You should also feel like you deserve those good things.
I think the one thing that I have learned from having such a f***** up life is that it's only as hard as you let it be.
You seem to be a caring and considerate person. You just want what everyone else wants and that is to be happy and have someone to share your life with. Don't forget you deserve to have that.
I know you're just bummed out right now but don't let yourself lock yourself away from the rest of the world.
As horrible as it's going to sound life isn't about what you do for other people. How you make other people feel. Of course that doesn't include your son. As far as he goes you know you would and could stop the sun in its orbit for him.
I guess in a very long winded way I am trying to say try being selfish for a while. Selfish is okay for good-hearted people to try out.