I feel like my life is out of my control.

My mom is now experiencing similar health issues as to my grandma and losing her vision (hopefully can be reversed). Her doctor wants her to apply for disability.

I am a selfish person, I will admit this. I don’t think being selfish is a bad thing, because my life is for me. One of my biggest fears is to be like my mother.

I feel bad for my mom, she took care of my grandpa and grandma because her other siblings wouldn’t. In return, she has no education, no career, no independence, and never really got to experience life because being a mother and caregiver was thrown at her in her teens. She only has to care for my sister but now she is getting older and ailing.

I don’t want to be stuck in a similar position. I have bigger dreams than this. My sister is 9, but even I wouldn’t ask her to sacrifice her future so I don’t have to be a caregiver.

I’m trying to get my mom signed up for disability and set up well enough, then I have to move away ASAP. I’ll help as much as I can from afar but I can’t waste my life here. I will not be stuck in that cycle.

But right now I feel like everything is out of my control and I need to hone it back in.

It is not fair to expect your children to sacrifice their own life and happiness for you.