I have no other choice but to lie to myself and adopt
Beliefs I don't believe in, trick my own mind into thinking none of it is happening .
Or continue being insane , or kill myself.
The first choice would have been easier if I was loved as a child .
A loved child has someone kind to have a pleasant inner dialog with.
If they are despised or feel like they will be, they have set of reasons, justifications, accusations to navigate.
Me? I know I earned it and I see no point in trying to work around it.
Too tired, too disillusioned, too burdened by everything including myself.
I am not here asking for help, or empathy or fake empathy or understanding.
I am just selfishly venting.
Or continue being insane , or kill myself.
The first choice would have been easier if I was loved as a child .
A loved child has someone kind to have a pleasant inner dialog with.
If they are despised or feel like they will be, they have set of reasons, justifications, accusations to navigate.
Me? I know I earned it and I see no point in trying to work around it.
Too tired, too disillusioned, too burdened by everything including myself.
I am not here asking for help, or empathy or fake empathy or understanding.
I am just selfishly venting.
