I can’t bring myself to apply for scholarships. I don’t like begging for money
I know I could qualify for numerous scholarships and the money would surely be helpful, but there’s something about a board of strangers reviewing my inspiration p*rn essay, comparing it to the other trauma turned triumphs stories that feels so degrading.
“Welk, we really like the story about the blind, single mom whose past family trauma made her decide to go into this field, but the essay about the DREAMER in the wheelchair is also pretty good. Who has a higher GPA again? I know they both volunteered, but who did [i]more[/i] volunteer work?”
I can never bring myself to apply. In the end I always decide that the money isn’t worth competing for who has the saddest victory story.
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If it comes to me, i wouldn't care how i get there bcz i need money in any possible way, I'd fold my eyes and step on whatever/whoever just to get myself out of where I am.
But taking it from your perspective, i understand that money can be the fold that blinds you sometimes and impede you from questioning every step ahead. This reminds me of the leopard who refused to participate in the dogs racing bcz sometimes proving that you're the best is an insult.
Competition is the rule for scholarships, even tho we all agree that a fish can't prove that it's better than a monkey in climbing trees, the education system doesn't agree. It just break our hearts and individuality to be in it. Thank you for reminding me of that again 😊 I'm in a place where I forgot many things and blamed myself for staying away from education without realizing that education itself was responsible for breaking me. Sadly many hippie souls still engage in this fuckery in fear of ending on the streets. Stay like that, i see it as a power not many people have.
Some hoops I’m OK jumping through because they’re necessary to do what I want to achieve. I’ve definitely made a lot of sacrifices that were worth it to me. As someone else mentioned, I think I would be more comfortable with my name in the hat if it were a friend or a mentor submitting the application on my behalf rather than me competing with the other sad victory stories for the most sad and accomplished of the lot and the rest get rejection letters for not being sad or accomplished enough. I get that it’s free money to open doors. I think part of the issue is that the scholarships I most readily qualify for aren’t from associations I would want my name/story attached to, forever on Google. @Hassan
