I can’t bring myself to apply for scholarships. I don’t like begging for money

I know I could qualify for numerous scholarships and the money would surely be helpful, but there’s something about a board of strangers reviewing my inspiration p*rn essay, comparing it to the other trauma turned triumphs stories that feels so degrading.

“Welk, we really like the story about the blind, single mom whose past family trauma made her decide to go into this field, but the essay about the DREAMER in the wheelchair is also pretty good. Who has a higher GPA again? I know they both volunteered, but who did more volunteer work?”

I can never bring myself to apply. In the end I always decide that the money isn’t worth competing for who has the saddest victory story.