I can’t bring myself to apply for scholarships. I don’t like begging for money
I know I could qualify for numerous scholarships and the money would surely be helpful, but there’s something about a board of strangers reviewing my inspiration p*rn essay, comparing it to the other trauma turned triumphs stories that feels so degrading.
“Welk, we really like the story about the blind, single mom whose past family trauma made her decide to go into this field, but the essay about the DREAMER in the wheelchair is also pretty good. Who has a higher GPA again? I know they both volunteered, but who did [i]more[/i] volunteer work?”
I can never bring myself to apply. In the end I always decide that the money isn’t worth competing for who has the saddest victory story.
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Well, meditate on emptying your mind from those -obviously blocking!- thoughts and work on your portfolio/essay. Never work either on a full stomach or mind. Now let's follow each other's advices and throw ourselves to work. maybe this -- The Four Agreements are: Be Impeccable With Your Word. Don't Take Anything Personally. Don't Make Assumptions. Always Do Your Best.
@elafina eh.. it’s the whole process that goes against my values and dignity. I can write the essay just fine. It’s the having to compete over whose life story ‘wins’ that I find insufferable.
@WhateverWorks turn your thought's wheel and go to claim your chances !!! My take. ... If it's not aligned with your beliefs...then go and do something about your beliefs, try a community project to give back. Maybe this is why you don't feel ok to receive?
I like my beliefs about this topic. I think it’s dehumanizing to measure peoples life alongside one another then send out rejection letters to the people who didn’t have a good enough sad victory story. I feel fine receiving. What I don’t feel comfortable with is the process. 🤷🏻♀️
@WhateverWorks I would advice that you focus on your strengths, present those in your essay, add your real background, don't call it sad -rather call it what it is, your specific environment from which you got the nutrients to become who you are. In the end i appreciate your deep evaluation of the situation, yet it seems it's holding you from allowing your path to get easier...<3 good luck whatever you choose to do 🤞
You’re right. When it comes to living my values, I do tend to choose the harder road. Sometimes when we live by our values that means making difficult choices over easier ones, like turning down free money even when other people think we should sidestepped our principles for ease or, like a couple other comments, that you’re ungrateful. 🤷🏻♀️@elafina
@WhateverWorks sometimes though, through the process of growing, we re-evaluate our values. And sometimes, the harder road doesn't make us any more saints than what we already are.
I've read Nitsche's 'genealogy of morality' in the past. He stated that we hold onto certain values simply because we were born and raised in lower to middle class. For the casual worker to be able to survive in his psych and keep on going day after day, we turned hard work into a value, the harder the better. We've turned scarsity into pride and we are even willing to fight for it.
I've struggled and still do some days from similar stuff and that's why I am so passionate about it, don't take very personally what I say, i speak for myself too. I've volunteered that much that I ended up paying for the events i did as a volunteer job the money i should have paid my bills with and I kept on struggling and struggling.
Now you decide what to do and there's a variety of choices for everyone. Sometimes a good choice puts us in a difficult situation, sometimes a bad choice brings us to light, so in the end of the day, i will finish with this quote that I love ... "Whatever you do will be of no importance, but it is very important that you do it" .. and will say good luck again ❤️
It’s not about hard work for the sake of hard work. Truthfully, I believe in working smart, not harder, but never at the expense of my ethics. I choose to steer away from practices that I believe are dehumanizing and i’m not interested in trying to talk myself out of my own values because the free money would be more convenient. I’m also not self-destructive though. I’m solution oriented. I don’t agree with how most scholarships pick their pony, so I seek out alternative ways to pay for school that align with my inner compass. Yes, the extra money would be helpful, but the money isn’t worth more than my principles to me and if I need something then I will find or create a way to achieve that without putting my values on the back burner. Is it a longer road? Yes, but I don’t mind as long as I’m achieving what I set out to. @elafina
