Unfulfilled Potential

It's my senior year, and I just saw many of my peers perform on stage for a competition. Due to overwhelming family issues and business this summer, I wasn't able to perpare to perform alongside them.
This isn't the only thing I've missed out on, either.
Why am I so lazy and unmotivated? I know I have pretty bad depression, but it just doesn't seem like a good excuse. All this wasted time and potential and nothing to show for it but disappointed faces and a broken record of regrets in my head playing over and over.
What can I change? When? Can I even make myself do these things? Will I end up alone and regretful in my old age like my estranged father?
It's times like these that I remember why I've attempted suicide, what a waste of human potential I am.

Top | Newest First | Oldest First

Justafantasy · M

Just do shit. Depression and suicidal thoughts have come and gone all my life. Only thing that makes them ho away is simply doing stuff. Always move forward

CrazyMusicLover · 31-35

It does sound like depression. Sucks all will to do anything out of you. I can work on something for a month then one day I wake up and just can't anymore, can't make any sense of why I should, what's the thrill...

HellsBelle · 31-35, F

therapy, and meds. try those. and know that you are literally still young. you do not need to marry and/or have kids. take a breather.

InvictusIndigo · 22-25, M

@HellsBelle I tried meds and therapy - meds felt like a cop-out and I felt zombified and out of it. Therapy was kinda dumb because at the end of the day it's about action, not words.
I'm not too worried about kids or marriage cuz I don't think it's for me. I want to be an opera singer to some extent in the future, but I can't seem to make myself work well or show up to everything. I knoe the problems, but making myself do the things is the issue

SW-User

You still have time to avoid becoming like your father.

Hassan · 22-25, M

Try mushrooms

InvictusIndigo · 22-25, M

@Hassan What good will that do? My autistic brother took drugs like shrooms and now is also schizophrenic. It sounds like another attempt at escape.

Hassan · 22-25, M

@InvictusIndigo heal depression. Before taking them put in mind that you're doing it to leave the old behind and whatever happens it's just a trip. You should be fine

Add a comment...