Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join Similar Worlds today »

So three people have left my life in some fashion in the past month and a bit

First a friend I'd known for over 5 years that just deleted me out of their life, it didn't hurt I was just dissapointed. Then somebody I'd known for a long time (not closely) totally switched on me and was nasty, that didn't bother me either because she was a weirdo apparently so 🤷‍♂️ it was very sudden and like okaaay wtf haha.

Then I've had to let go of an old friend because I found out he tried to drug one of my female friends a long time ago because I can't really call myself a friend otherwise.

So its been a strange couple of months, I'm not one to lose friends and in a way I guess I never did apart from one of em. I'd rather not have anyone else follow the trend tbh haha but the people I have left or have "lost" weren't meant to be ay.
It must've felt conflicting having to decide between two friends but ultimately you went with your morals which in my opinion are often clouded when it concerns friends or family.

This post is also weirdly relatable. The first two examples, that is.

I can relate to the first because I also knew a friend for over 5 years, helped her move into her new house, would be on the phone to her during pregnancy scares, tried getting her to get professional help to the point where she agreed but didn't actively do so, so I dialed a number for her, handed her my phone and left the room so she could talk freely and openly and she did. Despite this, It like you, weirdly didn't hurt either when she suddenly blocked all means of communication because I found out that she did this with other mutual friends too.

Everytime every one of us would try to help her, there was little gratitude. I actually remember another friend telling me how she slammed a door in her face and this was after hours of helping her shift her shit from her old house to the new.
The underlying insecurities were surfacing in the strangest ways and we were all patient with her, I believe she realised how we were all becoming cognizant of her patterns, specifically me and so she took matters into her own hands before we could, just for that element of control that was lacking in other areas. So in ways it was expected but still disappointing.

The second example definitely felt worse for me because this friend was a lot closer but because of another circle of friends she befriended, she started believing ideas that were pretty racist and started treating me differently because of it. It was strange and pretty dehumanising. Still gave her benefit of the doubt considering I had opened up to her but this was confirmed when I met up with her and she 'accidentally' used a racial slur during the conversation that I've never heard her use before and it sounded so casual. There's several other examples too but that one definitely cut deeper.
Diamonddog · 26-30, M
[@607935,HijabaDabbaDoo] Yeah it feels like a lose lose in a way, like am I abandoning somebody?. I'm going to do it gradually, if they call me up and they're really upset I'm not ignoring them but yeah we're not hanging out.

There are certain people like that and me and my friend who was present that night had the same conversation actually, your friend and mine had their issues but sometimes the people who you help are the ones that spit in your face afterward. It's sad because they're creating their own loneliness and not addressing their issues, but I think you just understand that and it makes it so it doesn't hurt at all. It's just a fact of life. You did what you did when you didn't have to, you did your part as a good person and I think you can sit with that quite well. I was always nice to her as well so that's what I felt, there was no insecurity about myself as a person or friend on my part.

The second experience sounds like a particularly upsetting one because its a mixture of a kind of betrayal on multiple levels. Like you're not her friend anymore and you're somehow viewed as lesser for something that's not in your control. Sorry you had to go through that 🙁 must be kinda sad on another level to see someone get radicalised like that also, or maybe they were always like that..
Novascel · M
Same, people leave for their own reasons more so often. I hope it doesn't make it too hard to open up though, otherwise it can be very hard to not feel so alone.
Diamonddog · 26-30, M
[@332555,Novascel] I think it'll be hard with him because I don't want him to feel like I've abandoned him or something. If he calls me and somethings really bad I'll listen but yeah..it's complicated.

Thanks though you're a sweetheart, I'm okay really!. Its just odd haha.
Novascel · M
[@877165,Xipooh] Slowly distancing sounds good honestly. Just say hi here and there until you eventually fade away from one another. Much easier than going cold turkey.🤗
Diamonddog · 26-30, M
[@332555,Novascel] We're kinda at that point atm. He's kinda toxic in terms of his life choices so I stopped hanging around and visiting him a while ago, we talk on the phone every few months but he's unreliable anyway. It's not going to be very hard I guess lol. But yeah if he calls me on christmas or something I'm not gonna be weird, I know his family so yeah.

But yeah I think so too 🙂
Aboomachu · 31-35, M
Meh, I’m a life long loner with no friends. I have my family and that’s it. People are always weird.
Gaiia · F
Mm
People come and go.
And some are very welcome when they come. Just saying 🤠🤠🤠🤠
PepsiColaP · 22-25, F
How did it feel to find that out about your friend ?
Diamonddog · 26-30, M
[@1090951,PepsiColaP] Well he'd always been a bit..off. I knew him since I was 13 so it's kinda weird, had to think about it for a bit tbh. I wasn't that surprised I guess, he's done some other things like sell drugs to my other friend who was recovering from addiction so that was kinda it for me when she told me that.
Diamonddog · 26-30, M
[@1090951,PepsiColaP] I've always known he was an imperfect person, I've always not judged him as I've known him for a long time and I'm not judgemental. But that put me in a situation where I feel like I had to choose, so I chose her because I thought it was right.

 
Post Comment
 
23995 people following
Life
Personal Stories, Advice, and Support
New Post
Associated Groups Category Members