One thing I hate is when someone treats people like shit and then few people come in and say
"She/He was always nice to me" Ok?? That is good but they still bullied and hurt people soooooo.. what are you saying?
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Because one person is not one thing. Surely it doesnt excuse abusive behaviour but we cant like everyone and not everything is bullying . People will defend the person they think their friends and loved ones are as it is a natural reaction to someone claiming otherwise . Even if they do see examples of negative behaviour in them they know their good parts and maybe can rationalise behind what provoke them to do so. It doesnt excuse it but it explains it. And sometimes thats enough in moving on for all parties involved