What's the deal with younger men claiming older women (60+) can be attractive?

Is it an attempt at flattery?
Is it currying favour for something else, like getting free editing on a poem or story?

The thing is, when it happens (rare) it's incongruent. There are no other signs or signals of attraction.

If it is true, what is it that they find attractive?

If it's not, why would they bother to insist on it?

Is it a misguided attempt to be "kind" - as if looks were the only basis for self esteem or confidence?

Is it just plain stupid - no reason at all?

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Adaydreambeliever · 61-69, F Best Comment

There are many many reasons and most of them to do with getting or hoping to get fun and sexual advantage for themselves..

I am not going to be able to do justice to the subject here as I don't want to type reams so please excuse the brevity

1 reason is the perception younger men have that older women are desperate - they believe that older women don't get much male attention and this makes them easy pickings
2 is that they believe they are doing the woman a favour and that she will be soooo flattered she will easily agree to sexual favours
3) is the idea younger men have that THEY are ultra hot compared to the older woman so there's power in that, again the lady might well feel she has to give more to please this self-proclaimed hot guy
4) the younger guy has the perception that older women, (perhaps because of their perceived desperation) are happy to give sex/favours without expecting to date, be taken out etc.. therefore easy sexual favours with little effort on the guys part..
5) the younger guy has the perception (not necessarily erroneously) that older women are more relaxed in bed, more experienced - some guys like the idea of being 'taught' while benefitting from free sex etc
6) Again buying into the perception of desperation and experience - younger men can perceive that older women are more willing to do wilder things in bed.
7) Some younger, (and older! ) men can buy into the idea that generally speaking older women tend to be more submissive when it comes to men, generally we were taught to be nurturing, caring, and to please men.. that can be a bonus if there's a perception that older women will be more manipulatable, more giving, less likely to say no, less assertive and perhaps (feeling self-conscious about their age) more likely to say yes

Of course that's not to say that some younger men don't genuinely have a thing for much older women.. some do.. but by far the vast majority have no idea how many young guys pester older women and are looking to get pics/sextalk or something else sexual from the older woman based on the perceptions above

walabby · M

@Adaydreambeliever Weren't there a couple of songs about 5, and 6, back in the 60's/70's?..

Simon and Garfunkle, and Rod Stewart..?

Didn't work for me. No offers... :( I still have no idea. XD

bijouxbroussard · F

@Adaydreambeliever #2 summed up by the old saying, “won’t yell, won’t tell and they grateful as hell !” 🤦🏽‍♀️

Adaydreambeliever · 61-69, F

@walabby :P

hartfire · 61-69

@Adaydreambeliever Fascinating reply. Thank you.
That probably does explain why I used to get pestered here before I posted the warnings on my profile.

The thing is, I'm describing a couple of real life experiences. I know the two guys quite well; both are in my literary circles. They've only ever dated with younger women, and they generally avoid the older women.
All the signs pointed to the fact that they were lying about thinking an older woman attractive. So why bother with such a gratuitous lie?

bijouxbroussard · F

@hartfire Then you would have to ask them for a definitive answer.

hartfire · 61-69

@bijouxbroussard Yes, you're right. And I'm sure they'd look at their feet and dissemble. I'd be left none the wiser.

Elevatorpitches · F

@Adaydreambeliever They get ME desperate to put them right..that is the ONLY attraction 4 me

Adaydreambeliever · 61-69, F

@Elevatorpitches smile me too, I give them a lecture or two so they can reeducate themselves

Elevatorpitches · F

@Adaydreambeliever no lecture necessary..why make it too easy for them

Keep em guessing and the behavior strong and the words short

Its the most fun that way anyhow

lol

hartfire · 61-69

@Adaydreambeliever And I appreciated it, thank you Daydream.

The thing is, I do not find the younger-man to older-woman thing to be common. I suspect that we make much of it precisely because it is uncommon.

I was not unbeautiful - was a model for a few years - but not once in all my years did a younger man ever approach me.

Of all my female friends, I know only one who has attracted a few younger men briefly. She's in her forties, hourglass shaped, and because she's the landlady of an artist's commune she meets a great many younger people.
Her lovers, as you have suggested, really were only after the experienced sex, and not the relationship - and each experience was disappointing for her. She felt used.
Now that she's getting closer to menopause, the men who approach her are getting fewer and further between. I think soon she will find there are none more.

bijouxbroussard · F

@hartfire And yet, for all the gloom and doom you predict, it’s not always the case. There is also the self-fulfilling prophecy. What do you suggest women who want partners after 50 do ? Forget about it and kill themselves ?🤨

Mindful · 56-60, F

@Adaydreambeliever wow, those are very reasonable

PoetryNEmotion · F

@Adaydreambeliever Well said.

PoetryNEmotion · F

@hartfire Some men realize they should stick with youger women because these men couldn't handle a confident, sexy, adventurous older woman. Young women worship older men who can tell them how to behave. What to wear. How to please these men. These men like princesses in the daytime and turn them into sluts in their beds at night. For the record, I am neither royalty nor easy pickings.