Happiness? Are you or do you just have sadness and the absense of sadness?

I am not happy. I am either miserable to some varying degrees from suicidal to a pervasive sadness OR I am not miserable _ usually because I am otherwise distracted by something like tv, food or drugs. I realize I hàve a permanently skewed vision of happiness after a two year run with Vicodin. I also realize that I have a skewed vision of happiness from falling deeply madly in love late in life (only to fuck it up). I also hàve never been quite right since the unexpecqtqed death of my father that really fucked me up. My struggle is this. I am unhappy always or I simply
Lack unhappiness and ammkindof neutral emotionally. I am in a virtually sexless marriage. My son is grown. My career sucks balls. I am going to be fifty and I just don't seemthe point of going on.

I have moments of happiness, but mostly I feel gratitude and contentment.

Δεν ξέρω αν είμαι χαρούμενη αλλά σίγουρα δεν είμαι δυστυχισμένη

I'm slowly returning to the state of okay happy, but yearning for more happiness.

I'm happy sometimes.

Doomer life so no happy

I'm happy :)