When you consider suicide is it usually as a response to your environment and interactions with people or does it just come up from inside?

@BlueVeins she has weaponized our son. She turned him on me when I tried to leave her and had him beg me to stay. He was 13 at the time and I just couldn't do it after that. Now, because of shit laws in Florida she would absolutely fuck me in a divorce. I would rather have a nice house and cable TV then to be single, live in a rented room and ride a bicycle while her new man spends all of my money. My divorce attorney told me I would be fucking penniless and demanded payment in advance to even slug it out. I think about it but as the saying goes...,it's cheaper to keep her.

@BlueVeins i have to say i think about killing myself to get free of her and this shitty life a lot more often.

@Genieinabottle Promise me that if it came down to it, you'd sooner leave her than kill yourself. 🥺

@BlueVeins yeah, i would like to be able to do that but i dont think i could keep that promise if the chips were really down. I appreciate your concern tho. I used to have a good therapist. We made some good gains on my sanity for lack of better explanation - but he kicked me out of his practice after i missed two appointments. I think its bullshit to expect people with mental issues to be prompt and squared away and also handle being hrown away like a snot rag well. I wish i could go back. I hate him for kicking me out but no other therapist has ever been able to help me. My most recent one was my age and hot and all i could think about was fucking her during our sessions. Lol.