Is the absence of love the most abject pain?

Yes, many people disagree with the old saying: it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. @SW-User

Having experienced both the loss of love and the absence of love, I’d say the loss is an acute pain causing immense suffering for a period of time, but given time, it does heal. Absence of love is not acute pain, but is insidious in its destruction of the spirit and mental/emotional wellbeing. It lasts a lifetime, and never heals. When you have both ... the absence, then you find love, then lose it, then absence again ... the pain is unbearable. Therefore, I’d rather have love and lose it than never be loved at all. To live and not be loved is a torment. @SW-User

Thank you, a very thoughtful and thought-provoking answer. And I so agree with your view that to not be loved is a torment and the absence of love is so damaging to a person’s wellbeing. @Carissimi