Play fighting with your teen daughter?
As a man, a father, should you play fight with a teen daughter? How far is too far?
I was at a friends house a while back. The father's step daughter was about my age, 16 at the time. They began play fighting, he pushed her into a corner and she began to look uncomfortable. He got rougher and rougher, shoving her, punching at her arms and sides. Not hard enough to bruise but hard enough to hurt. I said that wasn't appropriate and everyone in the room stopped to look at me. The step father asked me why. I didn't have an answer at the time other than "because she's a girl" but I think I have a better answer now, especially seeing the path his daughter has taken. Obviously everyone in the room took his side, saying just because shes a girl doesn't mean she can't do those sorts of activities.
My issue wasn't so much that she's a girl, but that he was taking advantage of her obvious disadvantage. Her discomfort. She fought back like a scared little child. Yet he kept pushing further.
I would change my answer to this:
Because it teaches her that it's okay for a man to hit a woman. Play fighting, especially in relationship, the way they were 'playing' can easily turn to abuse. She was uncomfortable. That was clear. He kept going though. Teaching her that her discomfort is irrelevant.
Now, we are in our 20s. She has a gangbanger for a boyfriend and a child with this man. She never sees or talks to her family anymore because he won't let her. He'll come up with every excuse as to why she shouldn't talk to them or visit with her daughter. The police knocked down their front door at one point, and daddy-o (who is 20 years older than her, might I add) was arrested for drug trafficking.
I distanced myself from that family. Trouble is what they are in all honesty. Good people though, just made bad decisions all around.
What is your opinion?
I was at a friends house a while back. The father's step daughter was about my age, 16 at the time. They began play fighting, he pushed her into a corner and she began to look uncomfortable. He got rougher and rougher, shoving her, punching at her arms and sides. Not hard enough to bruise but hard enough to hurt. I said that wasn't appropriate and everyone in the room stopped to look at me. The step father asked me why. I didn't have an answer at the time other than "because she's a girl" but I think I have a better answer now, especially seeing the path his daughter has taken. Obviously everyone in the room took his side, saying just because shes a girl doesn't mean she can't do those sorts of activities.
My issue wasn't so much that she's a girl, but that he was taking advantage of her obvious disadvantage. Her discomfort. She fought back like a scared little child. Yet he kept pushing further.
I would change my answer to this:
Because it teaches her that it's okay for a man to hit a woman. Play fighting, especially in relationship, the way they were 'playing' can easily turn to abuse. She was uncomfortable. That was clear. He kept going though. Teaching her that her discomfort is irrelevant.
Now, we are in our 20s. She has a gangbanger for a boyfriend and a child with this man. She never sees or talks to her family anymore because he won't let her. He'll come up with every excuse as to why she shouldn't talk to them or visit with her daughter. The police knocked down their front door at one point, and daddy-o (who is 20 years older than her, might I add) was arrested for drug trafficking.
I distanced myself from that family. Trouble is what they are in all honesty. Good people though, just made bad decisions all around.
What is your opinion?
22-25, F
