Can this ever be okay?

I asked my sitter why she was not being honest with me. She keeps going quiet and seems to want to get out of the house as fast as she can to get away from me.
She said it always feels like I am putting her in her place or 'telling her off' when she is honest with me. I am angry and don't know what to say back to her or if this can even be resolved. Thoughts?

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bijouxbroussard · F

Why are you angry ? It sounds like it took a lot for her to tell you this. If you react angrily to her, it will confirm her feelings that it’s unsafe to tell you her honest perceptions. Because they are how she [b]perceives[/b] your interactions, even if that’s not your intent at all.

BluePlanet · 36-40, M

@bijouxbroussard I am angry as I don't think it is fair. How am I meant to respond to that?

bijouxbroussard · F

@BluePlanet I apologize, because I read that as “sister” rather than sitter. But that makes things infinitely easier. On one hand, the sitter is there to interact with your child. They don’t have to be close to [b]you[/b], so you may be expecting too much. On the [b]other[/b] hand, you don’t have to employ anyone you don’t trust. And children are adaptable, so as much as yours may like this sitter, it sounds like it’s time to find another.

BluePlanet · 36-40, M

@bijouxbroussard If she is being quiet with me and not looking me in the eye then it impacts on my child

bijouxbroussard · F

@BluePlanet Then you need to find another sitter. You’re not going to change [b]this[/b] one and you risk getting sued, which would be harder to explain than simply hiring someone more compatible.

BluePlanet · 36-40, M

@bijouxbroussard She is becoming a nightmare 😐

bijouxbroussard · F

@BluePlanet Then the answer is obvious. You just have to take action, because it’s unlikely to improve. Waiting for her to quit could be problematic for the child.

BluePlanet · 36-40, M

@bijouxbroussard I don't see this as my fault. She is being passive aggressive. I guess I have no other option.

bijouxbroussard · F

@BluePlanet At this point fault is moot. The way she communicates is not compatible with your comfort level.

BluePlanet · 36-40, M

@bijouxbroussard Exactly.