Have you ever looked back on something really bad that happened in your life,

Oh, you mean like my childhood? Yep. All the time. Because honestly, it WASNT as bad as a lot of people's, with respect to physical abuse. Even the emotional abuse wasn't your "typical" emotional abuse. I question myself--I wonder if I am just weak and over sensitive. I wonder if others in my shoes would have been just fine. I almost wish there had been actual tangible abuse so that I could accept it all...

No. I am painfully aware of it. If I'm responsible for any part of it, I feel it to the depths of my soul. I've been abused, bullied, stalked, threatened, traumatized. I've had nightmares and flashbacks. I don't own anyone else's responsibility, but I own my own. My life is completely turned upside down. There is some damage that will always remain. I humbly have to accept that. I still work on improving my life, but the sad fact is, some things will never transpire in my life now. Those doors are permanently closed. Where others have shown me no mercy, that's on them. Even then, there remains permanent damage. Whenever you are run through the mud publicly, your life is never the same again. All I can do is keep moving forward and believing that all things, although improbable, are still possible.

no, but I do often think back and recall times when I was annoyed/unhappy and recall all sorts of very good things about then and realize that all the things I thought were so bad are really nothing in comparison.

No not really. Bad stuff remains bad stuff :) You don't get over it or out live it. It's more like finding a way to accommodate the circumstances, the people, the emotions.

I have met people who survived some of the most horrible experiences possible. And have gone on to live happy and meaningful lives. You can't allow someone to steal your quest for happiness and meaning, regardless of what else they may have taken from you.

Yes, its a coping mechanism but its a very unhealthy one. Ive made a lot of excuses for other peoples bad behaviors that have really fucked me up. :(

Yes, I've done this.

Yes. It happens.

You've shared a lot of personal things.
You didn't answer my PM, but it can't hurt to try.
I do have a very funny embarrassing moment story that I sometimes share here on SW... lol...if you want to hear...just let me know

yes

Yes

Yep.