Nothing to do now but drink bourbon on the roof alone

Quite often, but I don't think it's all bad

How is that not bad?

All I'm really concerned with in life is consuming what interests me and leaving behind the things that I think are important. I can manage that on my own, if I have to

Must be nice to feel that way.

I never said it was easy, but you're never going to die of loneliness unless you bring it upon yourself. There's more to life than just humans, and you might as well enjoy that.

Everyday I feel completely alone, even when I'm surrounded by people. That's a really ugly thing to constantly feel. I've always felt like I have walls around me that keep everyone else away.

I know how you feel, but the unfortunate truth that I always tell myself is that you'll only feel lonely if you're looking for people. My actions say I'm not looking for people, so I've got nothing to complain about. It is a really shitty feeling, though.

@Invisible: I used to be exactly like that. I would tell myself that I didn't need other people to be happy, and that I would never need a social life. It was my way of making myself feel better after being bullied for years. But then I started realizing what I was missing out on and it really hurt. So I tried to get into things and teach myself to be a tiny bit more social, even if only online. I know that sounds stupid. But I did too little way too late and it's wound up hurting me more than anything. I have a lot of regrets that I'm stuck with.

That's generally how it goes.

It's not like you're life is ruined because you're late to the game. If you really want to enjoy certain things, there's certainly time for that.

@Invisible: I've been trying, but I still haven't gotten anywhere. There are just a lot of things that I can't go back and fix, or even get to experience at all. That's what bothers me. I'm just really sick of being invisible to so many people everyday.

You'll get nowhere if you act like you're hopeless

I know. I have one more option that I've been trying to get around to doing. But after that I'm going to have to call it quits, I can't just keep going in circles forever.

What's the option?

Trying to chat with my crush on Google Hangouts. I've liked this girl for like two or three years. But what intimidates me the most is that she doesn't even use Google Hangouts. I have to invite her to it, and there's a chance she won't respond at all. But it's all I can do so I need to do it.

What do you mean it's all you can do?

I've waited three weeks to see if I can find her at school so we can talk face-to-face. Nothing happened. It's more complicated than that, but all I can realistically do now is see if we can talk on Hangouts. If we can't then I'm screwed. It's not like I have a bunch of other crushes I could try getting with if I can't get her.