How would you feel if your mom didn’t even say she loved you?

Like you just told her you love her and she just said, “love” and she said it pissed off. Having a mom who is in constant depression, and then gets mad at you and your brother and the world for everything is not fun. You can’t even do regular things and when your happy, it just makes her even more furious. Even if she is a good person she hasn’t been herself in a couple months.. Ig you could say ):

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4meAndyou · F

I think I would feel very badly about it. I know that I felt very, very hurt at age 11 when my mother announced that I was too old to kiss my parents goodnight. A simple kiss on the cheek and she could not allow it.

The only time I ever remember my mother saying she loved me was after I had my own family and she had made me so angry I had to kick her out of my house. She wrote those words to me for the first time in a letter.

Our parents are never perfect, and we want them to be like tv parents, good and kind and loving...but perfection is often impossible to acheive.

I know it hurts, but instead of dwelling on the awful things your mother does...(which we all do)...try writing down the kind things she has done for you...all that you remember. Each man and woman is not the sum of his or her unkind words and deeds, but the sum of every deed, both good and bad.

SadStar · 22-25, F

That sounds like something nice to do. But it’s probably make me a little sad because very time I want things to change and I try to be a positive force for her it doesn’t always work. She doesn’t feel loved and she doesn’t want to be a parent or here. Im ready to start my life and not worry about her always being down. My father isn’t involved all I get are text sometimes and I never see him but I know he works hard. I know my mom regrets everything with him and he has done her wrong. Shei s all o have but it feels like she is slowly killing herself with her actions and if I could put her in rehab and her not kill me I would. I just want the best. And I’m sorry about that @4meAndyou

4meAndyou · F

@SadStar Remember that you can not be a mother to your own mother right now. That will happen at the end of her life, when she is elderly and can't care for herself.

Your own loving feelings can't be returned by someone who is ill, and your mother is ill. She needs medication and/or that x-ray-like new procedure that does not involve drugs to treat severe depression.

I know that in some countries it is impossible for a woman to leave her husband, but it sounds as though her marriage and her environment are torturing her. Even though the best thing for her would be to leave, women in some countries don't always have jobs and culturally may not be able to live alone.

I feel for you, because you have taken her suffering onto yourself. Remember to live your own life first, put yourself first.

SadStar · 22-25, F

I’m glad that someone can see it. She’s in a situation where my dad is controlling and she couldn’t leave or she’d be broke and homeless and my dad provides for us. She had a lot going for her until she became a mom, because she was tricked and now her life is to take care of me and my brother so she’s says. It’s just an unstable household and I try to stay together but at the end of the night I just end up feeding my feelings with smoke and then sleep. I want to change but then all my anxiety comes back and I start to doubt. I feel good sober but have terrible anxiety. I just wish I could stick to my plans or goals. I appreciate and I’m from America @4meAndyou

4meAndyou · F

@SadStar Your mother needs to get a job...but that is not your problem. She needs to leave your father....but that is not your problem. Go and live your life, and try to leave home as quickly as you can.

SadStar · 22-25, F

She’s always tired and just not contempt. I stay to myself a lot which can make her feel lonely but when I try to talk to her about things she gets mad and even said she would put me on restriction for something she allowed. It’s just a lot of complicated mess. And I’m trying to figure it all out. I have a job but it doesn’t pay enough for me to just leave and I have a younger brother. I don’t have the heart to.@4meAndyou