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Tugasaki · 61-69, M
Some times when I get to work early I sit there changed to work uniform waiting for my shift to start I will just out of the blue start to cry.i hold it in so hard yes I will shed a tear but wiped away before anyone can notice.and I just want to ball my eyes out.but I know I would be ridiculed and mocked for it because of my age 55 year old man crying .not here not now not ever.im so depressed.
Disturbed12 · 26-30, M
@Tugasaki I'm so sorry to hear that. You should not hold it in yourself, sometimes crying makes us feel better 🙃. I have a problem, I can't cry easily. So I watch some sad movies or shows and let it out in the shower so that none can see.
Tugasaki · 61-69, M
The shower for me was and really is my sole place that I can let the cry out.without anyone hearing me.so many times it creeps out driving alone hearing a song I start crying or letting my mind wonder I start to cry.thinking of a crappy future for myself allows the water works to flow. Before it was a bridge crossing that made me cry because to me it felt like heavens gate and God was ignoring me.i know he hates me I'm starting to accepting his hatred .my days will be numbered by my own hands.
Disturbed12 · 26-30, M
@Tugasaki Don't worry about the future and don't regret the past. Just do what you need to do and spend the present in best possible ways.
Disturbed12 · 26-30, M
@Tugasaki What is your dog's name?
Tugasaki · 61-69, M
@Disturbed12 rusty.when I first got him he got parvo.almost died but for e days I visited him at the clinic and that made him a fighter.i owe him that much other wise I would of committed suicide long before now.i feel like I'm just waiting for him to pass so I can end my pain.
Disturbed12 · 26-30, M
@Tugasaki Rusty had fought back and survived, you should too 🙃