How am I going to live alone at 47 when I haven't ever lived alone before??

I had to move for work. My wife decided that was my problem and not hers.@VeronicaJane

@Genieinabottle divorce?

Not yet. Just two separate households. I don't know how it's going to work. I don't know how I am going to hold up alone. I think it will probably end the marriage but for now we are not making it official.

@Genieinabottle is she seeing someone else?

@VeronicaJane I would really doubt it.

@Genieinabottle then why not move with you, doesn't like the location?

She just doesn't want to leave her work or our son. She doesn't want to move away from our home of 23 years. I get it. I don't want to either but I cannot find a job locally I ave been out of work for months.

She blames me for losing my job. She blames me for all of this. She is right of course. If I hadn't ever gotten twisted up my life would be in a different place right now. I don't blame her for blaming me. I blame me as well.

I want to die. Not by wasting away by a debilitating disease but suddenly and irrevocably. My life is all off the tracks. I don't even know what I need to do to turn things around. I have a new job but fear I will fail again.