Is there any avoidant here?

I’m not necessarily referring to a diagnosed person with Avoidant Personality Disorder.
There are many people who have avoidance only as a trait in their personality and have it as coping self-defence mechanism when the core that explains this trait could be very different to the one I have.
Once I was told by someone from here, avoidance was sane. This statement got fixed in my mind. Because it shocked to me. Nothing to do with what avoidance has been representing for me so far.
Nontheless, I’m beginning to believe that it might have sense. Not that avoidance could be a blessing, of course, but it might have saved you from many things, including yourself.

If you have this in common with me, I would like to meet you.

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SW-User

I would say avoidant is something I do do regularly but not exclusively if that makes sense. What I mean is I see so many people spend so much energy on fighting everything they disagree with. I pick the battles many things I just acquiesce over as it isn't worth the fight.

twistermind · 51-55, F

@SW-User Lol! In the case you describe, I don't have any doubt to consider it not only sane but also wise.
You choose consciously what's and what's not important for you.
The problem begins when it's a permanent pattern and actually, you don't choose. Your fears make you avoid.

In my case, following your example, I don't confront the battle or the person even in cases when I had to defend my rights. Afterwards, I rumiate the whole situation and blame myself not only for my NO intervention but also for the very behaviour of the other person.
But, it's not so bad...along the years I have been daring to be moré assertive.
Thank you for your comment!

SW-User

@twistermind Well I sometimes wonder if I should have perhaps stood my ground more but as you say for me it isn't a pattern that I have no choice at all over