Is there any avoidant here?

I’m not necessarily referring to a diagnosed person with Avoidant Personality Disorder.
There are many people who have avoidance only as a trait in their personality and have it as coping self-defence mechanism when the core that explains this trait could be very different to the one I have.
Once I was told by someone from here, avoidance was sane. This statement got fixed in my mind. Because it shocked to me. Nothing to do with what avoidance has been representing for me so far.
Nontheless, I’m beginning to believe that it might have sense. Not that avoidance could be a blessing, of course, but it might have saved you from many things, including yourself.

If you have this in common with me, I would like to meet you.

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SW-User

I typically avoid parties, places with bad memories (bad as an understatement), people especially when I'm tired, but I don't know if that counts?

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twistermind · 51-55, F

@SW-User I’m not a psychologist but in the second point you mentioned, about being tired. It depends...there are many issues that can influence you to need high energy to cope with people. For example, my anxiety and depression steal lots of energy to me and that makes very difficult for me to deal with people.

SW-User

@twistermind yeah, I'm highly introverted. People tend to tire me out pretty quickly and then I need days to myself to recover.

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twistermind · 51-55, F

@CyborgMonkey I’m referring to a repetitive pattern lol!

therebetterbecats · 36-40, F

I have APD, so in a huge way I get what you're saying. I'd lived with it for years before finally being diagnosed. In some ways I appreciate being as avoidant as I am, other times it's a genuine curse.

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twistermind · 51-55, F

@therebetterbecats No. only I also experience strong anxiety.

therebetterbecats · 36-40, F

@twistermind Same here. Horrible anxiety

twistermind · 51-55, F

@therebetterbecats Totally. I even followed progressive social exposure therapy and still working on it. It helps, I know it. I neither was able to look people in the street many years ago.

SW-User

I would say avoidant is something I do do regularly but not exclusively if that makes sense. What I mean is I see so many people spend so much energy on fighting everything they disagree with. I pick the battles many things I just acquiesce over as it isn't worth the fight.

twistermind · 51-55, F

@SW-User Lol! In the case you describe, I don't have any doubt to consider it not only sane but also wise.
You choose consciously what's and what's not important for you.
The problem begins when it's a permanent pattern and actually, you don't choose. Your fears make you avoid.

In my case, following your example, I don't confront the battle or the person even in cases when I had to defend my rights. Afterwards, I rumiate the whole situation and blame myself not only for my NO intervention but also for the very behaviour of the other person.
But, it's not so bad...along the years I have been daring to be moré assertive.
Thank you for your comment!

SW-User

@twistermind Well I sometimes wonder if I should have perhaps stood my ground more but as you say for me it isn't a pattern that I have no choice at all over

Sonntag · 26-30, F

i avoid this question

Peekaboo20 · 26-30, F

@Sonntag I avoid responding to your avoidance.

twistermind · 51-55, F

@Sonntag @Peekaboo20
Humor sense always!

SW-User

Are you making this up?

twistermind · 51-55, F

@SW-User making up what?

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