This is a call for help from you. There are people that love you and you don't even know it. And one thing I know for certain. Jesus loves you more than you will ever know. He would not want you to take your life. He did not give it to you, to throw away. He said, "He that comes unto me, I will in no wise cast out." Those things which we cannot do, God can do. I know. He has shown me this the 45 years I have loved and served him. He will not let you down. But you gotta get real and go to him and talk to him and mean what you say. Call that suicide helpline that someone mentioned here below. Counseling will help as well. This is not so urgent that you have to kill yourself. Think seriously about what you are about to do. Stay and see who cares. So many here, do. I'm one of them.