How to break free from people who don't truly love you?

I am so starved for love I hold on to a relationship with my mother who didn't take care of my basic needs (food/safety/heat) as a child and let me be abused to the point I have PTSD. I'm in a relationship with a controlling/emotionally abusive bf.

I know neither of them a show they love me through actions. They both say they love me, but their actions hurt me. When I need them they are not there.

I'm so starved for love that I want to hear them say they love me. In the back of my head I hope they will show me love through their actions.

I don't feel like anyone has truly loved me.

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Cheesecake · 61-69, M

That's not sustainable if you want to find peace and happiness. You need to get away from both of them and get help with your mental health and how you approach yourself and others. A nebulous, unprovable God won't do it. Do some research and find the right people. Your doctor may be a starting point. I wish you all the luck in the world.