I don't think that I'll ever get ahead in life

I work hard, get paid decent money and have not many bills. The problem is mom is constantly borrowing and not paying back. I once told her how much she owed me and I got abused by her because she reckons that I shouldn't count every cent she's borrowed idk. It makes it hard cuz she begs when I tell her I can't lend and then I have to put off paying bills.

I don't think I'll ever be able to do things that I want to do like travel overseas. It might be easier if I kill myself