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I Don't Care If Your Gay Or Straight Or Bi

I'll admit when I was in high school being gay was horrible for me. You know that one kid who sat alone during lunch because he had no one to sit with? That was me and the few friends I did have all had different lunch periods so I wouldn't get to see them. I was fine until this one "friend" found out I was gay and outed me to half the school.

Before I knew it I was getting bullied even by people I didn't know. Even had one guy throw my lunch on me but because I didn't believe violence was the answer I stayed to myself. From there I started to sneak out of the cafeteria and would eat in a bathroom stall (yes a bathroom stall). One day I got so fed up of being bullied for my sexuality that I knocked a guy down when he tried to call me every name in the book.

It was the first time I was aggressive or violent mannered to anyone. I got suspended which is how my mother found out I was being bullied although being gay never came up so I kept it to myself until after high school. When she came to the school demanding answers they gave her none other than "your son punched a student out so he is being suspended for his actions." She went to the board of Ed and demanded to speak to the super intendant and said if they did not make the school do something she would call every local media outlet both newspaper and news TV station and blast them for letting their students get bullied and not doing anything to stop it.

The super intendant insisted there was no reason to get the media involved and that she'd resolve it and help us. Funny because moments before she was saying there was nothing she could do. I still had to serve out my suspension for knocking the guy down but he ended up being suspended for his bullying actions and was changed to a different lunch period so I wouldn't have to see him during my lunch time again. When my friend outed me I pretty much lost everyone. Everyone that was friends with me just left.

I remember I would get off the bus and this group of kids would chase me to my house and throw rocks at me calling me every name a gay person could be called. If throw my bookbag on the floor slam the front door and run up to my room and cry. My mom would come in and ask what was going on and why I was crying and I never wanted to tell her. I would make up excuses so I never had to deal with telling her that I was bullied for being gay.

I was scared to even consider coming out as I was raised in a very strict Christian home. Eventually one day I was running from the bus stop to my house again and my mother was outside when she spotted me running with the usual crowd of teenagers chasing me with rocks. My mom told them off like nobody's business she also knew where they all lived so she went to their houses and told their parents what they done to me and well surprisingly I didn't have to deal with those group of rowdy teenagers ever again. I look back and although life in high school wasn't easy with being gay times have gotten better. After high school I went off to college and found it within me to come out to my super religious parents.

My sister was the first one to support me my parents eventually came around to accepting things. I'll admit most of the people I went to high school with are people I no longer talk to. My 10 year high school reunion was recently and I wasn't even invited. When I asked my best friend why he didn't tell me he said he didn't think he was going and that he forgot to mention it to me. Most of the people of the people I went to high school with are either married with kids, graduated from or almost graduated from college, and or working their dream job/ careers.

Although my life isn't exactly where I hoped it would be by now I'm getting there. If I could give a piece of advice to anyone it's to never give up. Life is what you make of it. I'm not saying it's easy or that it's going to be easy but I truly believe it does get better with time and I can say times have gotten better for me over the years ever since I graduated high school.
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Toasty · 22-25, M
This is why i'll probably never come out. Some people treat it so extremely that I would feel like i'd never know if they are treating me differently because of it.

I'm sorry you had to go through that.
ManicMicah · 22-25, M
@Toasty: Have any close friends who you know for a fact will accept you no matter what? Those people are always the best to come out to.
johnnyr860 · 31-35, M
@Toasty: yeah no I used to feel the same way as you. I promised myself I'd never ever come out because of how I was being treated and because of how cruel people are. But one day I got so fed up with living a lie and not being free to be myself that I just couldn't take it anymore and I came out and said this is me and who I am and if people don't want to like it I said tough because I deserve to be me and to be happy. Someday maybe just someday if you ever get fed up of living a lie like I did you'll come out too.
Toasty · 22-25, M
Maybe. But I don't really think of it as lying. It isn't like I'm going out and picking up girls. I just do the things with my boyfriend only in private and he keeps it a secret which he's fine with.

What are the advantages of coming out?
ManicMicah · 22-25, M
@Toasty: Advantages of coming out: You are finally free to be who you are without worrying about keeping it a secret. You know who your real friends are if they stick by you through everything despite your sexuality.