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Monday 20th Nov 23
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ninalanyon · 61-69, T
[quote] I think there's still too much if a stigma for many to answer honestly to any questioning.[/quote]
I think there is another problem and that is what seems to me to be an unhealthy emphasis on passing among crossdressers. Most men really can't pass as a woman on close inspection and many of us even from a distance. I think this makes a lot of us feel, for want of a better word, pre-emptively embarrassed. I think embarrassment is one of the most underestimated negative forces in society.
But my experience shows that at least in northern Europe (that still includes the UK by the way) most people one meets really don't care. Perhaps you remember me saying that one day I finally "screwed my courage to the sticking place" and went shopping in Aldi? What I often don't mention when relating the events of that day is that I had a full and not especially tidy beard at the time. Still no one seemed to even blink.
So to get back to the point, I believe that most of the stigma is imagined rather than experienced. I'm still struggling to overcome my worry that m family and friends will turn out to be less accepting than the general public though :-(
I think there is another problem and that is what seems to me to be an unhealthy emphasis on passing among crossdressers. Most men really can't pass as a woman on close inspection and many of us even from a distance. I think this makes a lot of us feel, for want of a better word, pre-emptively embarrassed. I think embarrassment is one of the most underestimated negative forces in society.
But my experience shows that at least in northern Europe (that still includes the UK by the way) most people one meets really don't care. Perhaps you remember me saying that one day I finally "screwed my courage to the sticking place" and went shopping in Aldi? What I often don't mention when relating the events of that day is that I had a full and not especially tidy beard at the time. Still no one seemed to even blink.
So to get back to the point, I believe that most of the stigma is imagined rather than experienced. I'm still struggling to overcome my worry that m family and friends will turn out to be less accepting than the general public though :-(
22Michelle · 61-69, T
@ninalanyon think you're right on it being imagined stigma, which of course doesn't change anything in our heads, especially when it comes to our nearest and dearest. Just because i imagined it could be really bad it doesn't mean I'm wrong, or that it could be much worse he said, allowing his inner paranoia free rein. On the othed hand......you have different fingers!
ninalanyon · 61-69, T
[quote]of late I feel happier using "knickers", [/quote]
I generally say knickers. I'm not entirely sure why but I think it's a combination of things, it sounds a bit naughtier, earthier somehow. Also it's the word that my wife used for her comfiest underwear, some of which could only be described as granny knickers! She never wore things like thongs or stockings, as far as underwear was concerned comfort was all she cared about.
I generally say knickers. I'm not entirely sure why but I think it's a combination of things, it sounds a bit naughtier, earthier somehow. Also it's the word that my wife used for her comfiest underwear, some of which could only be described as granny knickers! She never wore things like thongs or stockings, as far as underwear was concerned comfort was all she cared about.
ninalanyon · 61-69, T
[quote]There are so many reasons not to dress, apart from the fact that it's not a choice, i[/quote]
Exactly!
Exactly!
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